As an artist and feminist, I am compelled to question and critique socially prescribed gender roles. By re-contextualizing with digital video, I deconstruct social norms and reconstruct them in a performative experimental narrative, which is playful and humorous, demonstrates their absurdity, while quietly pinching back culture.

The inspiration for this piece springs from an autobiographical childhood memory that resurfaced as a metaphor for my struggles as a new mother. Additionally, it transcends gender issues and speaks of the universal plight of defining a sense of self in culturally prescribed roles. It illustrates awkward struggles with identity and with societal expectations of motherhood in particular. It is, in a sense, representative of modern feminists being “fish out of water” when faced with balancing traditional and biological roles with personal goals, desires and needs.

As a nine year old, I took swimming lessons during the summer in the small pond at my town’s recreation park. My instructor would demonstrate each swim stroke outside of water. She also had her students perform the strokes on the beach towels. I excelled at this part of the lesson. I understood the timing of arm and leg movement and had correct form. When I entered the water and actually swam, however, I struggled with awkward timing and form, which fell apart upon entering the actual forum for this activity.

My first year of motherhood is a replica of this experience. While anticipating my new role, I performed my poolside practice by researching motherhood through the means available: books, advice, other mothers, etc. Extensive preparation proved futile, as the actual experience of motherhood is as daunting as entering water without having ever swum. My strokes were great in theory, but impractical and useless. The visualization and expectation of performing any task is easier than the actual experience.

In the video, a woman practices her swim strokes as a workout routine on a beach towel on her lawn. The lawn serves as the only setting for the duration and is a constructed domestic backdrop in aesthetically pleasing rural Vermont. Though no house is visible, there is evidence of domesticity: a children’s swing set with slide, a white picket fence, clothing lines with laundry flapping in the breeze, and an oversized yellow ball lazily rolling over the green lawn. The staged scene also includes a child’s inflatable pool and two beach towels. The scene is a staged event, and a woman enters the camera frame as though it were a stage. She is sporting a hot pink bathing; blue goggles are perched on her forehead and she wears an athletic, retro looking, blue one-piece. The suit is of modest cut and in no way suggestive or flattering. She faces the camera for a brief duration, then performs a routine. It is a workout, not quite systematic and appears modified to the swimmer’s desires. The routine includes a variety of swim strokes, all performed out of water in precise movements. The woman then presents herself as a swimmer practicing her strokes. She is concerned about her form and her movement. The movements look as if she really is demonstrating excellent form and artistry involving arms and legs. When the routine finishes, she exits as she entered the frame.

The woman serves as a critique of social constructions. This video piece explores and toys with gender, both social postures and roles, and sexuality through performative gestures directly from our culture. This swimmer represents any socially pre-defined construct. The swimmer challenges the viewer to question the roles and narratives of gender. The viewer recognizes and identifies with gestures that are contrived and forced, but convey humor and absurdity. At best, viewers will be inspired to reflect on their own roles and explore them.

Culture preordains roles such as motherhood, defines them in terms that don’t include individualization. Limitations of this nature are refuted by this piece, and questions are raised. It humorously shows the viewers that we all go through senseless motions simply because they are the “way it’s done”. The piece challenges, engages and questions with self-effacing humor and offers the possibility of identification for all viewers.